Words and Ears

by Frank on September 19, 2013

For as long as I can remember, I have had a physical hearing problem. I’m not totally tone deaf. I can tell it’s a Q. Is it a Q sharp or a Q flat? Couldn’t tell with a gun to my head.

Against that I have had two brilliant teachers in my life who could actually teach me to sing correctly. Thank you Angela and Mr. Calaghan.

I could even decently play the bagpipes. Choose someone’s A and zero beat everything else. If we had to play with continental instruments, someone else would fudge the Gaelic A onto a Concert A, and then even I could hear the cancelling waves. (Look folks, Carnegie Tech. The school cheer still says “Water cooled slipstick.” If you don’t get it, just move on.)

But a noisy bar is physically painful and I cannot understand a word. That’s not really a problem, I just don’t go there, but foreign accents on speakerphones are. I’ve been to an audiologist. She said her tests couldn’t find a problem. She also said that, put into doctor speak, “many patients have presented with the symptoms.”

Whatever. Yup, bad job interview.

PS. Should I ever be invited to a reception at Holyrood, I am indeed entitled to wear Carnegie tartan.

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